Category Archives: quotations

Summer quotations

A much delayed post of the newest quotations from the summer.

July / August 2010 (at Penn State):

  • “I am a torus.” — Akhil
  • “I really like poisoning pigeons.” — Moor
  • “What is an algorithm to divide by zero?” — Akhil
  • “What is an algorithm to divide by two?” — Andre
  • “Who needs logic? We’re mathematicians!” — Moor
  • “The arithmetic of negative numbers sounds really boss.” — Akhil

    August 2010 (in China):

    • “The policeman thought he was some junk person.” — Yichen
    • “They should put red carpet everywhere I walk.” — Ben
    • “In particular, puddle people are good for appearances.” — Moor
    • “Get in front of that moving bus.” — Moor
    • “I usually bike to the egg, so I don’t know how to walk there.” — Moor
    • “There was this restaurant in Shanghai that served cubical desserts of various viscosities.” — Ben
    • “I’m more edible.” — Moor

    Additional quotations

    May 24, 2010:
    “What does a water heater do? Does it heat water?” — Moor

    May 25, 2010:
    “Cutting hair takes longer than growing hair.” — Moor, talking about harvesting hair. He seems confused.

    May 26, 2010:
    Contributed by Ben from a bridge game.

    • “If I open 2 no-clubs….” — Eric
    • “Weapons and swords are very different!!” — Matt
    • “I’m NOT an analogy!” — Ben

    May 28, 2010:
    Contributed by Ben from another bridge game.
    “I don’t care if it converges… Just sum it!” — Eric

    June 2, 2010:

    • “Do airlines provide transportation?” — Moor
    • “Apparently, straws bend.” — Moor

    Apparently, Moor needs a lesson on common sense.

    June 7, 2010:

    • “It shouldn’t be ethical to have English majors.” — Moor (commenting that English majors don’t seem to contribute as much to society as engineers)
    • “Kangaroos and penguins are both birds.” — Moor
    • “Penguins are mammals.” — Anand
    • “All the Republicans have guns, so they’ll prevent you from eating them.” — Anand

    More quotations

    It’s been three weeks since my last quotation collection, and there aren’t very many new quotations. People don’t say enough quotable things.

    20 April 2010:

    • “This is far too technologically advanced.” — Moor (discussing pushing a straw through the top of a milkshake cup)
    • “I’m thoroughly disappointed in you.” — Melissa (speaking to a poster that had fallen down)

    29 April 2010:

    • “Why should we care about living people?” — Moor

    The argument: After the living people die, they won’t know or care any more, so it doesn’t really matter what happens to them. I’ll expand on this idea in a future blog post.

    9 May 2010:

    • “Usually 1+1=2, but sometimes it can be 4 or 0 as well.” — A physics TA

    This was sent to me by Anand, supposedly from a discussion of interfering waves.

    10 May 2010:

    • “Just set pi equal to zero.” — Moor

    Referring to a math problem that can be solved by the heuristic of replacing distracting numbers by more convenient values.

    New Quotations

    I have a collection of quotations on this blog in the quotations page, and I will periodically update that page with additional quotations. These quotations come from people who say silly things around me. You have been warned: Anything that can be misquoted to sound stupid will be misquoted. The quotations already on that page before this post come from things that various people have said around me in the past three years and were copied from my old website.

    Here’s a collection of the newest quotations, along with their sources.

    “I’m not alive.” — Chris (email message from 11 April 2010)

    Bridge game 16 April 2010:

    • “I’m invisible.” — Moor
    • “But nobody ever says anything stupid!” — Anand
    • “America is a country that needs disaster.” — Moor
    • “America is a disappointing country.” — Moor

    With the last two quotations, I’ve probably disqualified myself from ever running for political office in America. However, I think that they’re true, though a bit extreme. America as a country is incapable of positive development when it is not under pressure from other countries. Before the collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War, America was always competing with other countries and hence achieved social and technological progress. Such advancement has slowly drastically in the past twenty years as funding for science has gone instead toward funding wars. Without competition, America is a country without direction or purpose. Luckily, some countries will catch up soon, and by doing so, they’ll save America from itself.

    For the full list of quotations, visit my quotes page!